Eh why you all never update this blog ):
Well, I was having breakfast just now when I remembered this conversation my mom and I had when I was about twelve. I asked my mom who her best friends were, and she said she didn't have any, most of her friends were just good friends. I remember finding this hard to believe because well, I had you guys to laugh with and talk crap. I didn't have to put on a mask, I could tell y'all about anything and everything because you guys weren't judgemental. I mean, you guys were my
best friends and it was kind of hard imagining not having any best friends, y'know?
Two years down the road, I don't think what my mom said was unbelievable anymore. In school, I do have good friends, people I can laugh with and talk crap. But somehow, I can't express myself the way I did when I was around you guys. There's something different about the way I connect with my friends here, maybe because there's a reputation I have to uphold. Maybe it's different now, maybe there are more complicated feelings to express. Nonetheless, I want you to know that I really really appreciate and treasure the friendship we had, because now I realise that it was a rare kind of friendship. (:
But like the saying goes, all good things come to an end. I'm not saying we're ending our friendship, but you have to admit, we are drifting apart. Or maybe
I I hardly ever talk to any of you anymore. We say "meet up soon okay!", but have you realised how long it's been since the four of us have met up?
I could blame my schedule, I could blame the distance. But then, I realise that there's actually nothing to blame. We're all just growing up, we're finding our own identities, we're trying to fit in more than 24 hours in our own schedules, we're spending time with friends. (: Maybe we have changed a lot since primary school (even though I think I haven't, I'm the same old pessimist) and found who we truly are; maybe we're finding all the crap we talked about lame and immature back then, or we simply don't have the same ideas and inside jokes to continue them. Though people change, memories stay. So I'll hold on to those memories because I realised that they were what made me, Me.
You changed my life. :)
(back to the top.)
I miss you.
Sunday, May 2, 2010